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Faye Valentine
30 December 2008 @ 08:17 pm
Not to bring it back to Christmas, but is there any way of returning something that doesn't come with a gift receipt?

Case in point.

Take a leaf out of Jack Bourdain's book if you're looking to get someone a present, in the future. I like Jack. He can stay.

Anyway, pro tip for the New Year: coffee, baths, and prairie oysters don't help. Try beating yourself in the head with a 2x4 next time if you want to try solving anything as far as a hangover goes with any kind of external remedy. At least then you'll be knocked out.

But, hey, don't let fear stop you. There's nothing more entertaining than watching people around here deal with drunk and snow at the same time. Unless there's a curse.

Speaking of entertainment, Gren Elle, you owe me a drink and a cigarette. And Nick, you owe me five minutes of you sitting still. Does anyone have any duct tape?
Faye Valentine
17 December 2008 @ 11:15 pm
[audio : on]

Did I hear something about zombies? Must be Tuesday here. Oh, it's on -


Did you really think you could get rid of me?

[the snick-snick of a lighter catching, then a sharp inhale]

Not that I'm happy to be back in a hellhole like this, but at least there are people out there who owe me a serious round of drinks and after what I've been through I'd say I deserve it. Do you know what it's like on Venus? Sheesh.

[soft, thoughtful pause]

So who's still here anyway? And I swear if any of you idiots cleared out my apartment and ruined my couch in the process, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass you'll -


[there's a scuffle, a bark, and the audio shuts off ]
Faye Valentine
10 December 2008 @ 01:12 pm
applicationCollapse )
Faye Valentine
21 September 2008 @ 07:55 pm
filtered to Styles' office || unhackableCollapse )

My, god. How many buttons does one person need? I feel like I can't breathe in this. There are buttons on the SLEEVES. I don't see how this is practical at all.

Whoever's got my shorts this time, word of advice: if you mess with any of the inside pockets, it's your life on the line.

One last thing:

Someone has one day to adopt this. I can't handle two of them in the same apartment and expect to still have a fully functioning wardrobe by tomorrow morning without losing my mind. It's already started, and I didn't even do anything.

PS. Cori. You're a dead man walking.

[ooc: Faye's switched with Snape. That's right. Snape.]
Faye Valentine
03 September 2008 @ 06:47 pm
[there's some crashing, some smashing, and then something that sounds distinctly like someone tripping over her own two feet, since she's graceful like that.]

Oh. Great. [tap tap] Is this thing on, or is it broken like everything else around this place?

[this is obviously one, Faye Valentine, and this is obviously one Faye Valentine kicking something hard enough to leave a dent.]

Ow. Damn it. Ugh. Look, number one, my ship is completely wrecked. I know it's never going to fly here, but I need someone to fix it - Or move it, at least - so I don't have to look at it like this. It's a complete eyesore. It actually looks like it's in pain. Number two, I need a Tylenol. Now. And a shower.

Number three -

[radio silence for a minute]

A pack of Camels would be nice. Along with a drink. And -

[there's a pause and then the distinct, loud noise of someone's stomach rumbling.]

Anyone got anything to eat? Anything that's not dog food? You'd be amazed at what Jet Black tries to get a growing girl like me to chew on for three months straight. If I have to be back in this place, the food at least needs to make up for it. Now that I think of it, didn't someone owe me a cake?

Anyway, uh... hi. Again. What'd I miss?

[ooc: Back from home and I'm back from hiatus. Sup, poly.]
Faye Valentine
28 August 2008 @ 09:14 pm
Let's just get one thing straight:


You should be looking at her brother, not me. Christ. You answer one munchkin's question in this place and suddenly everyone's blaming you for things you didn't do. Story of my life? I think so.

As far as the rest of you go, find some comfort food and cheer up. And stay out of the woods. Apparently that's where everyone's getting dazed and confused and completely depressed. Survey says: don't go looking for grandma's house if the trip there is going to make you want to drown yourself.

... I need a cigarette. Or ten.


My god.

[ooc: Just an aside:
AshamedTrout (9:15:37 PM): Ask the next person you see if they like Colonel Angus.
marygonemad09 (9:16:13 PM): doesn't everyone like Colonel Agnus?
AshamedTrout (9:16:27 PM): i f-f-fool mythelf thometimeth!!]
Faye Valentine
22 August 2008 @ 09:42 pm
I didn't forget. Don't even think about it. Forgetting is a completely different continent from where I am.

I've been giving you time.

The question is: did you forget? The answer better be no.

Cake, candles, presents, presents. In that order.

Don't hold back. I know none of you have any kind of sweet tooth left after this stupid curse and whatever the hell else is going on around here, so cough up the goods.

A single-file line will do.
Faye Valentine
31 July 2008 @ 07:35 pm
So here's the lesson:

Shit stinks, deal with it.

Last week was my two year anniversary. Two goddamn years.

Someone better buy me a goddamn drink, bake me a cake, and give me a plaque that says 'Oldest Living Resident of this Shithole.'

I'm pretty sure I deserve all of it. And probably more.

[ooc: She's alive, really.]
Faye Valentine
02 July 2008 @ 08:21 pm

My pompoms! I knew I'd find them! They were hiding under the bed with the monsters. But now I have them, and do you know what that means?! WE CAN DO CHEERS! I can make one up for anyone, too! I'm pretty much the best there is at making them up so if you need some done, just ask. But don't ask me to do a split yet 'cause I haven't gotten that one perfected.

Where's Kitty? I haven't seen her in so long! Where is she? She's the best at playing pirates and climbing trees but she's not very good at making cookies or caramel corn or anything like that, but that's okay since she's fun! She's my best friend!

Nicholas and Vash and Dexter and ummmmm.... EVERYONE ELSE! Where are you? It's been so long. Come out come out come out!

Oh and for everyone who's new! I'm Faye "The Tart" Valentine! Even though that's not my last name, so I don't get it but that's what Cori told me to say so that's what you should call me!

[ooc: if you make me make up a cheer, I will eat you. she's like 9 okay, she thinks tarts are great. :<]
Faye Valentine
28 June 2008 @ 10:30 pm
private to Edward || unhackableCollapse )

private to Bebop Crew || unhackable || Vicious inclusiveCollapse )

Hypothetical question for you. How many men does it take to turn a girl into a lesbian?

Perverts need not apply. Cori's not allowed to answer either.

And someone turn everyone back from fucking mice, jeez. They breed and make diseases mutate or something. This guy's the only one with the right idea.